Welcome to the Lost Cities

( Part four of Andra’s story. If you haven’t read the last posts, please read them first. If you haven’t read Legacy, please don’t read this until you’ve finished. Thank you. Now introducing. …. Part Four: The Reflection)

The Reflection

What have I done?!

The thought spun around inside her head for the millionth time as a thousand horrible scenarios kept playing inside of her mind. In that one moment, Andra had done the one thing she had always feared she would do: She hurt someone, and now she would have to live with that for the rest of her life.

When she caught up to Linh, it felt like someone had kicked her in the stomach. Maruca was lying on her side, unconscious. She lay splayed on the ground with her arms outstretched and her raven locks scattered across her face, the wind blowing them softly against her still cheeks. Her face was a shade lighter than her normal bronze hue, bearing a vacant expression which left Andra to think the worst. When Andra felt like she was going to be sick, Linh said,

“ Marella, call Elwin immediately!”

“ On it!” Marella obeyed, already dialing on her Imparter.

Linh started gathering Maruca’s arms and set her flat on her back in a straight position. Andra grabbed Maruca’s legs to help carry her when Linh used her telekinesis to lift the injured girl and slowly and carefully climbed the hill back towards Choralmere. When Marella ran ahead and told Mai what happened, she immediately made a place for her on a sofa in the parlor, and there Linh gently laid Maruca and covered her with a blanket. Mai brought in a silk cloth which Linh soaked with her water, making a cold compress and laid it gently on Maruca’s grey forehead.

Andra paced back and forth across the room, anxious for Elwin to get there. Her mind replayed that awful moment over and over again, growing more sick with every passing second. She knew he was the best healer in all of the Lost Cities, but a tiny part of her worried that Elwin might not be able to fix whatever she had done. As she paced, she thought through all of the possible reasons why she should not have accepted Maruca’s invitation, thinking how she could've prevented all of this if she didn't come, which left her in a perpetual state of guilt, dragging her deeper into the pit of despair.

When she thought Elwin was never going to get there, someone peeked their head into the parlor and said,

“ Did someone call for me?”

Andra heaved a sigh of relief as Elwin casually entered the room. The funny elf doctor was wearing his usual colorful tunic, this time with a parade of purple T-rexes marching across his shirt, along with Bullhorn, the banshee, trotting in as happy as can be. Andra had known Elwin since she was a little girl. His regular visits to Wolfstod for the weekly check ups had made him and her very good friends. He knew exactly what trick or gift to cheer her up whenever he was examining her mother. He was also a Flasher, which made him extra popular with her. There wasn’t one Flasher in the Lost Cities that she hadn’t encountered yet and asked a bunch of questions about their ability, dreaming about the day that she would be one of them. But when she looked back, she could only cringe at how embarrassing she was, knowing that she would one day turn out to be the exact opposite of her once hope filled dreams.

“ Thank goodness you arrived so soon! We were worried if you would be available or not,” Mai expressed gratefully.

Elwin set down his medical bag on the side table and said, “ Well don’t you worry, Mrs. Song, I’m always available when needed. Now, tell me what happened, and I want it in full detail.”

Marella obliged to tell him all about how Andra had made a big shadow arrow and aimed it straight at Maruca’s shield, knocking her backwards and rendering her completely unconscious. She described it in such perfect detail that Andra cringed and tried backing away into a corner. When Elwin looked at Andra, he was at first surprised, then briefly alarmed, then very thoughtful. But he covered all that up with a soft, sympathetic smile, then turned to Marella, saying,

“ Well thank you, Marella, it was an accident, so let’s see what we can do about it.”

Elwin looked at Andra while he said this, probably trying to reassure her that it was just an accident. It didn’t make her feel any better. She could tell that he was very concerned under his calm demeanor, which wasn’t normal, even for Elwin. He knelt down beside the sofa and started examining Maruca. While he flashed various colors of light on her face and body, Bullhorn found a nice, cozy corner of the room and decided to stay there and curl up for a nap, to everyone's relief. Andra couldn’t watch. Part of her wanted to flee the room before he gave the terrible conclusion, but she knew that she had to own up to her mistake and take the pain. She didn’t dare to look at Linh or Marella, knowing they’re probably judging her right then, so she tried focusing on the various furnishings of the room.

The parlor was a cozy little space, filled with elegant wooden furniture and walls of dark amber swirling with intricate designs. Paintings of beautiful scenery hung on every wall, some of which she recognized as Eternalia, Atlantis, and many other famous landmarks of the Lost cities, all rendered with Mai’s skillful hand. There was even a picture of Tam on the mantle, which seemed strange without his sister, since he was so close to her. She had heard their parents weren’t too happy about them being born twins, so they tried to hide that fact by lying about their birthdates and trying to convince everyone that one was slightly older than the other. Tam and Linh of course didn’t like that, and that’s part of the reason why Tam left with his sister when she was banished from the Lost Cities. It was also the reason Tam decided to melt down his registry pendant and dip his shiny, black hair into it as a sign of rebellion, which Andra thought was a nice touch to his already handsome features.

Andra studied the painting carefully and noticed the dark tone that embodied it. She could tell that his mom really missed him, and could feel the sorrow in the shadows that darkened Tam’s smiling expression; as well as in the cold, blue eyes lingering into a far, distant look, as if the painting was supposed to be more of a memory than a hope for his return. Andra tried to push away the thought of him never returning to the Lost Cities again, so she tried to focus on the different shades of light used on the painting. Apparently, Mai wanted her son’s background to be pretty much darkness, which did not sit well with Andra, so she tried thinking through all the things she could do better. If there was a little more light added to his features, and maybe a nice meadow or perhaps the cove to replace the hideous black background, with a little extra shine into his silvery bangs, she could portray his manly composer perfectly, and….

Seriously, Andra? A Shade liking another Shade? Well that will end up in a very “ shady” relationship.

Andra would’ve chuckled at her own joke if Maruca hadn’t groaned from the other side of the room. She immediately rushed to her side as Elwin stopped flashing his colored lights and fished out some elixirs from his bag. Andra watched as he carefully poured the elixirs down Maruca’s throat, then waited a few more minutes before flashing another barrage of colors over her head. Then, after his final check over, he stood up from his position without a word, putting away the elixirs and faced the anxious faces before him. Linh and Marella stared at him, begging him for an answer. Mai sat nervously in a chair, awaiting the dreaded diagnosis. Andra sucked in a deep breath when Elwin smiled and said,

“ She’s going to be fine.”

Everyone let out a sigh of relief when Linh asked with a sense of dread in her voice,

“ Are there any echoes?”

“ No, thankfully there were no echoes,” Elwin said, briefly looking at Andra, which made her wonder what the “echoes” were.

“ All she needs is a good rest and a daily dose of my elixirs. I’m sure she’ll be on her feet in a few days.”

Linh relaxed and her and Marella laughed and hugged each other in relief. Mai’s tense features relaxed and let out a freeing sigh. Andra almost cried as the knot in her stomach started to unwind. Elwin added,

“ I’ll also administer some bottles of Youth for yourselves. I’m sure after the scare you’ve all experience, you could sure use some.”

Everyone nodded in agreement and he passed out to each a bottle of that cool, refreshing water. When Elwin gave Andra her bottle, she drank it down heartily and said,

“ Thank you! I….don’t know what would’ve happened without you.”

“ You’re welcome,” Elwin said, “ it’s just another day in the healing business. That’s what I’m here for.”

Andra nodded, looking briefly at Maruca. Already, her face started flushing a pretty pink and her expression seemed less vacant and more content as if she was just taking a peaceful, afternoon nap. Andra again breathed a sigh of relief, drinking in the knowledge that she was going to be okay. But then a twinge of guilt came back when she thought to herself,

None of this would’ve happened if you just stayed at home where you

belonged.

Her heart started to sink as the guilt started to take hold again. Elwin seemed to see right through her train of thought and decided to stop it by saying,

“ You know it wasn’t your fault, right?”

Andra gave a weak nod, which left Elwin very unconvinced. He searched her eyes in his usual, analytical way, then he put his hands gently on her shoulders and met her sad, weary eyes with his kind, grey-blue ones, saying in a very warm tone,

“ It was not your fault.”

Tears started to well up in her eyes. She didn’t know what to say. Chocking back a sob, she dried her eyes quickly, trying not wanting make a scene, and kindly looked back at him, saying,

“ Thank you.”

Elwin smiled and nodded in response, then he gently released his hands from her small frame. He walked over to his medical bag and said,

“ You know, I have just the thing for you. I picked this up before I was on my way to see your mother, and I was going to give it to you at your house, but

I figured you might want to see her now.”

“ See who?” Andra asked.

That’s when Elwin pulled out of his bag a sparkly, white and pink striped sort of ball which Andra immediately recognized as a genie.

“ I got her over at “ Fluffies and Stuffies” in Atlantis, the place where I usually get all of my Emotional Support Stuffed Animals. Her name is Gem, but you can name her anything you'd like,” Elwin said as he handed her the stuffed animal.

Andra held the genie stuffed animal and gazed at it with hazy eyes.

It was in the shell, of course, because genies are notorious for being super difficult for getting out of their shells, but once they learn trust you and crack open that shell, they are said to be a beautiful sight. Andra, trying not to cry, meekly said,

“ Yeah, Gem is a good name.”

She felt a little embarrassed at holding a stuffed animal, so she tried not to look too attached, until Linh cried,

“ Aw, Andra, that is sooo cute! And sparkly! I love your new stuffie!”

“ Yeah, Andra!" Marella jumped in, " Congratulations! I’m still waiting for my Emotional Support stuffed animal. By the way, Elwin, do I have to almost die or just look a little teary eyed for that??”

Elwin laughed and said, “ I’ll see about your stuffed animal as soon as I get back to Splendor Plains.”

Andra lightened up and held her stuffed animal with new pride. For once, she felt like things were not going to be as bad as she thought they would be.

When she didn’t think they could get any better, Elwin added, “ The shopkeepers said that if you hug it enough, the shell will burst open, revealing a stuffed genie inside.”

Andra looked at Gem in wonder, then wrapped her arms tightly around her and squeezed her soft shell, as if she could squeeze out all of life’s problems. Gem surprised Andra by faintly glowing when she pressed on her. Elwin, with a twinkle in his eye, explained in a knowing whisper,

“ I also gave it a special light feature. I heard that you haven’t been sleeping nights, so I thought this would help. Also, I have a few sedatives that could help you get rid of those dark circles under your eyes, along with your mother’s usual medicines.”

Touched by all the kind gestures, Andra looked at Elwin with her baggy, tired eyes, and gratefully said,

“ Thank you, for everything.”

Elwin gave her a tender smile, and they stared at each other in friendly regard for one minute longer. Andra smiled and lowered her voice, saying, " By the way, that flavor you chose for the lockers this morning, it tastes terrible! It wouldn't kill you if you just chose something good for a change, like... custardbursts."

Laughing, the elf doctor said, " Well I say, ' the worse the taste, the better the medicine!"

Andra rolled her eyes as Elwin started gathering the medicines in a neat little tray. When he handed her the tray, she suddenly felt….cold. The room around her started to grow dark and Elwin’s face started to grow dim as if someone pulled a dark veil over him. His features started to fade until only his grey silhouette remained standing before her. Andra stared widely into an Elwin she had never seen before. She could feel someone shaking her and she could hear faint voices over her rapid heart beats, but they couldn’t wrench her from the illusion she was seeing. Her breath came in thin vapors as she witnessed Elwin’s body start to glow from underneath the thin, grey layers. She had heard about shadowvaper, but she never thought it would be this intense. Andra dared to look at the others and they all had the same faceless figures, all containing darkness and light in various proportions. Then she looked over Elwin’s shoulder at a mirror that stood in a corner of the room, and standing there was her reflection, but it wasn’t her. It was an even denser, darker silhouette of herself, pulsing with a thick blackness like she was made of darkness. She could feel the fear, the anger, and… something frighteningly familiar. A sinister, cold, empty feeling that she had only felt once before. The monster was real.

Suddenly, Andra couldn’t take it anymore when she was snapped back to reality where Elwin’s beautiful face reappeared, along with everyone else’s shouts of concern.

“Are you okay?!”

Andra stared at Elwin’s worried blue eyes as he shook her back into focus. Everything was as bright as it was before. Everyone’s shapes and features were back to normal, leaving no trace of the strange vision she had witnessed.

“ Andra? What is it??” Elwin asked again, not letting her go.

Andra stood there, cold and paralyzed at what she saw. She couldn’t speak. She couldn’t breath. She couldn't think. She had to get out of there. Before anyone could object, she wrestled herself out of Elwin’s grasp, hugged Gem and fled the room, running as fast as she could.

Elwin called out her name, but she couldn’t hear him. Before they knew it, she was gone, leaving everyone standing there, puzzled.

——————————————————————————————————————————

Thunder cracked outside the window as Andra desperately searched through Lady Zillah’s old text books. She had already spent an hour trying to search for some answer, some clue for what she just saw. She kept flipping through the old leaves of “ The Different Methods of Shading”, which was basically a book on how Shades manipulate light into different layers of shadows, how to shadow whisper, etc, etc. Andra threw aside the book on her bed and grabbed the next book called “ Shadowlore" , which is the dark and disturbing history of Shades, which has only succeeded to thoroughly freak her out. She couldn’t find anything on shadow flux, and when she couldn’t find any hint or a paragraph on it, she threw down the book in frustration, leaving the crumpled book on the floor.

Andra felt like she could scream and cry all at the same time. She couldn’t wait to yell at Lady Zillah for totally not preparing her for any of this. Grabbing her pink blanket, she wrapped herself up in a cocoon and hugged Gem until it felt like she couldn’t breath. Hopelessness started to drown her when Andra spotted a tapered edge to the neglected book’s cover on the floor. Faint runes peeked out from underneath the weathered leather binding. Andra wriggled from her cocoon and jumped down, grasped the book, then climbed back onto her bed and eagerly placed it into her lap. She carefully peeled back the book’s cover, not caring about destroying Lady Zillah’s priceless text book, and read the inscription across the wooden frame:

“ Shadowflux.”

Lightning and thunder crashed against the house, making Andra jump out of her skin. Andra took a deep breath and began reading.

Shadowflux is the sixth known element of the world. It is the force that is the center of all darkness and shadow. It is a cold and empty force that can only be filled if one bends it to his will. Whoever wields it will be able to control the very essence of darkness, including the darkness in one’s self. If a person is embodied in this force, they become the darkness, as well as all their darkest desires and darkest dreams. This is a very powerful and very unstable power, and should not be used lightly. If one can’t control it, avoid this force at all costs! Control the darkness that is within.

— Lady Zillah

Andra didn’t realize she had stopped breathing. The ominous words kept replaying in her mind. The silhouette staring at her with its faceless expression.

But I can’t control it. I don’t want to control it!

Andra replayed the scene at the parlor when she saw everyone’s shadowvapor for the first time. She could see Elwin’s light as well as Linh’s, and Marella’s, and even Mai Song’s, but when she looked into that mirror, all she saw was darkness. Cold and empty darkness.

Control the darkness within.

Andra tossed the book aside and wrapped herself even tighter into her blankets and hid herself from the world. Gem’s warm glow was the only thing that could bring some comfort as the truth started to dawn on her.

I’m a monster.

Slowly, but surely, the tears started to come and wet her pillow until a light knock at the door interrupted her cry. Andra sat up quickly and slid all the Shade books under the covers before her mother came in, saying,

“ Andralynne? Are you alright?”

Andra sniffed, dried her eyes and said hoarsely,

“ Uh, yeah, sure. Just doing a little….. studying.”

Andra’s mother, Emralynne, was a beautiful, slender woman with chocolate brown hair and a dark blue dress. Her pale complection and slim figure gave off the impression of a wearied woman, worn with many years of illness. Emralynne coughed and gave her daughter with a look that told her she was not unconvinced. Andra shrugged and gave a look of resignation.

“ I see,” she said, slowly closing the door behind her, “ I was worried since you didn’t come to dinner.”

“ I wasn’t hungry,” Andra explained, tucking herself further under the light pink covers again, hiding from her mother’s gaze. But when she felt her mother’s weight on the side of the bed, she knew she was in for another talk. Andra sighed and waited for it to be over with. All she wanted to do was be alone. She heard her mother shift herself towards her direction and say in a very confiding tone,

“ I heard about what happened today. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I’m glad to hear that the girl is going to be okay.”

Andra cringed as the memory of Maruca’s motionless body appeared in her mind, reminding her of her mistake. She pushed back the memory and hugged Gem even tighter. All she wanted was to forget this day ever existed. With a fresh sob catching in her throat, Andra said in a choked up voice,

“ I just want to be alone right now.”

Emralynne smoothed Andra’s white hair as she said in a kind, tender voice,

“ I know. I know you want to forget this day ever happened, but you can’t keep blaming yourself.”

Watch me.

Her mother continued, saying, “ I know you’re going through a hard time, but you can’t let your ability define who you are.”

Andra’s eyes watered as she said in a quiet voice, “ I don’t even know who I am anymore.”

" Yes you do, you are Andralynne Wolfstod. You are the most beautiful, smart, talented, and sweetest girl I’ve ever met. You love to paint, you love to draw, you sing beautifully while you’re outside. You imagine the most wonderful fairytales and you've always been looking on the bright side of things. Don't let this ability darken your sight of who you are.”

Andra remembered the days of her childhood, a time where she still believed that there was hope for tomorrow, that there was a big, beautiful destiny waiting just for her. After everything that happened, Andra felt that person slowly fade away to the point where she didn't even know if she could go back being that person. She wasn't even sure she knew who the Andra now exactly was. Andra sighed, and grasped Gem, strangling her when she bitterly said,

“ That was a long time ago, when I believed I was still going to be a Flasher. I imagined those stories so I could someday live my own story, doing the most wonderful light tricks. I imagined I could paint a beautiful picture completely made of all the light spectrum, and create something no one had ever seen before…but all of that has changed now. I’m a Shade, so what is it point of dreaming of light when there is none?"

" Honey, honey, you let yourself think the worst of everything, and that has drained the happiness out of your life for so long. Look, I know this isn't what you wanted, but there's beauty in everything we go through, you have to have the courage to see it."

Andra scoffed and looked her mother in the eye and said, “ Yeah, well there’s nothing beautiful about being a Shade. All Shades do is conjure up creepy shadows and scare people.”

“ That’s not true, your great, great, well many greats grandfather is a Shade, and he’s one of the most respected Ancients in our family.”

“ Yeah? Well, I bet he’s just as creepy. If being a Shade means becoming dark and creepy, always dwelling in the darkness, possessing a possibly dangerous power for the rest of my life, then I don’t want it!”

“ Whoa, okay, just calm down,” Emralynne calmly said, “ Look, for one, you’re not dangerous, and two, just because you’re a Shade doesn’t mean you have to be negative all the time. I've known plenty of elves that have " scary" abilities, and they are the nicest elves I know. And three, I don’t believe shadows could be dangerous. You just have to get that idea out of your head, or it's going to affect the rest of your life.”

Andra wanted to scoff at this, but when she started to really ponder it, wondering if she could be right. Maybe all that time it had been her overactive imagination freaking her out for no reason at all and making her hallucinate things. Maybe all she needed was just a little sleep.

Maybe it really was all just in my head.

Andra started to feel a little hope when her thoughts got interrupted by a familiar, taunting voice, saying,

“ You still sulking about your Shade sessions, again?”

“ Brenik!” Her mother exclaimed.

Andra immediatly sat up and flashed an angry look at her older brother standing in her bedroom doorway, smirking his obnoxious smile as she lay tear stained in her bed.

“ What?! I was just pointing out the obvious, Mom. She’s not going to get anywhere with those sessions if she doesn’t even want to learn. Look at me! I didn’t sob or pout like she did, whining and crying every single night. And yeah, I’ve heard you whimpering. You’re such a baby.”

" I'm not a baby, and I don't cry every night!” Andra argued.

“ Yeah you do!” Brenik insisted, “ I also know you leave your light on every night because you’re scared of the dark.”

“ No I am not!”

“ Uh, yes you are!” Brenik said as he mischievously snapped his fingers, briefly turning off the lights. Andra screamed and Brenik snapped and turned them back on again, laughing.

“ See?! You’re such a wimp! ”

“ Where were you the last few hours?! It’s almost midnight,” Emralynne demanded, changing the subject.

“ Why do I need to tell you that?! I can do whatever I want! I’m a Level Eight prodigy now! You can’t tell me what to do!” Brenik stated, proudly.

“ I didn’t say that, I was just asking…”

“ Well, whatever. Maybe I should give you a schedule or something, so you can babysit me all the time!”

“ Leave Mom alone, Brenik! You’re such a jerk!” Andra yelled, defensively grabbing her pillow.

“ Oh, you don’t want to pick a fight like that with me. You know I can beat you in a thousand pillows, right?” Brenik said, snapping his fingers and conjuring up a pillow. It’s one thing to have an annoying brother, but it's another to have brother be a Conjurer. Andra's anger burned when her brother taunted her and said,

“ Come on! I bet you can’t take me!”

“ Will both of you please stop?!” Their mother pleaded, wearily.

“ If you weren’t such a jerk, maybe Mom wouldn’t be so tired all the time!” Andra spat.

“ Maybe if you stopped being such a problem, then maybe she wouldn’t be!”

Suddenly, everyone went quiet. Andra tried to say something back, but nothing came out. The words couldn’t get past the lump growing in her throat and the painful stabbing hurt in her heart. All that came out was a tiny, little squeak as Andra’s eyes watered with hot tears. She held them back, not letting her brother see he had gotten to her. She held a very intense stare with him, and saw under his skin a dark, grey silhouette, wriggling and churning in the layers of shadow with hardly a spot of light, just to her satisfaction. She didn't want to see him as any less than the selfish fiend that he really was. Brenik finally relented and said,

“ You know what?! Fine! Go have your pouting time without me! See if I care!”

After he left, slamming the door, the weary mother sighed and said,

“ I’m sorry about your brother. It’s been hard ever since… you know. You’d think he’d be over this stage by now.”

Andra rolled her eyes and laid back down on her pillow, trying to fight the urge to scream.

“ He’s such a jerk.”

“ You have to give him time. Maybe one day he’ll be more respectful, but in the mean time we just have to bear it and be patient. Remember your brother has feelings too.”

She doubted it. Ever since their father died, Brenik had been acting like a class A jerk for the past year and has not since let his guard down for one minute, not even caring that he was hurting his family and wearying his sick mother. A person like that deserved no respect whatsoever, and she was satisfied with that.

As Andra turned towards her window, she stared at the family portrait sitting on her side table. She was reminded again of how different she was from rest of her family. Her father, a handsome redhead, stood beside her beautiful mother in his stunning white suit, along with Brenik, proudly sporting his new, blue jerkin( she felt like spitting over that brand new suit of his). Her mother wore a beautiful silk, amber dress flowing in the gentle wind. And then there was her, pale faced, freckled, bleached white hair in a braid, standing there smiling in her light purple gown. She looked nothing like her family, save that she claimed to have her mother’s nose and father’s ice blue eyes. The white hair was just a genetic fluke, they said, which meant that she was basically just a freak who looked nothing like her parents with slightly abnormal genes. An outcast. A mistake. A problem.

At that thought, Andra buried her head back into the tear soaked pillow, squishing Gem with all her might. Another barrage of tears started sobbing their way out of her system, as the memories of her father’s once jolly and cheerful face started floating into her mind, filling her with an even deeper sorrow that cut her heart every single day.

Would there always be darkness in my life??

She cried even harder, and her mother started gently massaged her back, murmering a sweet lullably she'd known since childhood. The calming gesture smoothed over her heaving sobbing, until there was nothing but mere sniffling. As if reading her thoughts, her mother soberly said,

“ I miss him too.”

Andra turned to her mother, surprised, and saw her sapphire eyes staring at the painting, gazing at some far off memory with a pensive look. She looked at her mother and suddenly saw a silhouette, a dark, grey sihouette that was still burning with light. She saw the anguish and the trouble inside as the light fought hard against the darkness. She saw a grieving woman who was torn away from her husband and had to endure a strange illness that no one can cure her entire life. It wasn’t fair. None of it was. If only he hadn’t gone on that assignment, everything would been different Everything would've been the same.

Andra snapped out of her vision, and saw her mother had a faint tear running down her cheek. Without her bidding, the image of Lumenaria floated into her brain, along with the terrible day when a regent from the Council came to their house and told them her father was dead. He was killed by the Neverseen the night the great palace of Lumenaria fell. Her father, Rudrick Wolfstod, was on assignment there as Regent serving one of the Councillors, when the palace started to shake. She was told he had gone back for a goblin guard when the building started to collapse. He managed to save the goblin just before a big piece of rock fell, killing him instantly. There was nothing anyone could do. No words of comfort that could bring him back, no help that could've saved him. After the Planting, Andra was never the same again. Her only hope was that she could one day manifest as a Flasher, like her father, but instead she was doomed to forever be a monster, wallowing in the strangling darkness. Alone.

“ You know, there was something your father once told me once that has helped me whenever I feel down,” her mother began, interrupting Andra’s brooding thoughts.

“ Whenever I feel down, I would always remember his saying, ‘ Life is like a really tall staircase. There are dark steps and there are light steps. It may seem that there are so many steps through the dark, but we take those steps believing the light steps will come again.”

Andra laid still and pondered her mother’s words. She remembered all those days grieving for her father and all those days worrying about being a Shade.

Suddenly, she felt very bitter and replied, “ Well it seems our family is always getting the brunt of these ' dark steps'. What's the point of even trying?”

Her mother sighed and continued saying, “ We can’t have perfect lives, Andra. It’s a fact. There will be days where we don’t even want to face tomorrow. But no matter how many times I’ve had to walk through the dark, I’ve always found a way to reflect the light that is in me, through even my darkest moments. Light and dark both work together in our lives, Andra, it’s how we choose to react to the hard times that matter.”

Andra wanted to believe that, she so wanted to believe that there was a brighter day ahead and that there would be light and joy to come, but all she could see were rain clouds and darkness as the storms gathered in her future. As if on cue, the thunder outside gently rumbled in the steady drizzle. She couldn’t stand the thought of another day in Shade sessions, another day being feared for being what she was, another day being reminded of her father. Another day of being reminded of the Neverseen and what they had done to her life. She would never forgive the Neverseen for what they have stolen from her. Never.

Suddenly, Andra felt anger, hatred rise within her, as something far more sinister and dark took place deep inside her heart.

They will PAY for what they’ve done.

While Andra had thought all these things, clenching her fist, her mother kissed her tenderly on the cheek and said,

“ I love you. I hope you know that.”

As if by a magical word, Andra immediately began to calm down and stopped clenching her fists. Her heart slowed to a simple, steady rhythm and she could breath easy and smooth. Her mother extracted a bottle with a pink liquid in it and said,

“ Please take the sedatives Elwin gave you. I hate seeing those dark circles under my little girl’s eyes. Sleep will do you much good.”

Suddenly, she remembered and Andra bolted upright and said,

“ Oh my gosh! I forgot to bring your medicine from Elwin! I’m so sorry, I wish I hadn’t left so suddenly. I’m such a failure! I…”

“ Don’t worry! Elwin brought them by after you came home,” her mother reassured her.

" Oh."

" Now, try to get some sleep."

Andra sighed, and leaned back against her pink pillow. Her mother tucked her into her bed and handed her the vial.

“ Look, don’t worry about it. Take it and go to sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a beautiful day. Just think about all the beautiful things you love to paint so much.”

Andra nodded and obediently downed the liquid, then snuggled into her warm, colorful blankets. Emralynne got up and turned to leave the room when she asked,

“ Do you still want the lights on?”

Andra nodded emphatically, and Emralynne said,

“ Good night, my Star,” before she gently closed the door behind her. Andra hugged Gem and tried to think about all the good, beautiful things she loves so much, and thought,

Maybe it will be a good day.

She settled into a comfortable position when she felt a hard object jab her in the leg. She pulled out a Shade book from under the covers and looked at, contemplating all that she had learned. She knew there had to be something more, something going on that she didn't understand, but when she remembered her mother's words, she decided to disregard it as a mere theory derived from lack of sleep and pure exhaustion, and placed the book back down on the floor. She decided shadowflux and shading were not going to ruin her good night's sleep, and that she was not going to let that stop her from having a wonderful day.

As the sedative worked its magic, she thought of gorgeous landscapes, sweet little genies, and the beautiful alicorns. Soon, she drifted off to sleep into a world of bright and fluffy dreams, where shadows didn’t exist and there was no such thing as shadowflux. As the rain fell softly against her window and the thunder gently rolled above the ceiling, deep down, lurking in the subconscious, a monster waited in the shadows.

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Okay, so this chapter was originally going to have a lot more to it, but since it turned out longer than I planned, I’m going to make another separate chapter for what happens next. I promise you I will definitely have part 5 out by next weekend! This has now become an eight parter, so we’re about half way through( I promise I won’t add anymore chapters). Again, thank you to all my faithful readers. Please give me your honest criticism and what you liked about the chapter, and I’ll see you all next week!

P.S: I have just one question just for fun: If you could choose an Emotional Support Stuffed Animal, which would you choose?( it can be a regular animal, not just from the Lost Cities). I absolutely loved creating Gem, so I think if I had to choose, it would be her. Anyway, ciao!

Also, for any readers who have not been updated on the Tam/Andra ship sneak peek, there’s a juicy paragraph that’s been added to Part Two: The Invitation in the paragraph where Andra thinks about Linh’s absence. I hope you like that sweet extra scene, and have a good one!